WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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