Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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