I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
