I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
