he puts the penis in happiness.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you will always have a special place in my vag
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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