tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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