I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
