fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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