it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
did i just pee glitter
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
