it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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