"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
