Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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