i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
