What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
