So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
