Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
do herpes really smell.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
