lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
