That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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