Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
