yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
