I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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