i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
