Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
