I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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