we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
