Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
the raccoons are back...
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