things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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