I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
