it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
