Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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