well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
