Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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