he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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