I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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