Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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