i wish there were pregnant emoticons
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
