so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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