The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
