new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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