So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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