This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
