What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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