and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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