so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
