sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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