Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
