Please, let me fuck your mom
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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