Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
