non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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