do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
