Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
God, I missed his penis.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
