And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize