when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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