but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
