Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
