the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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