maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
