does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
and i looked up. we had an audience...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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