i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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